This month we’ve been talking about pouring from an empty cup as part of the conversation about holding our centre, being able to stand in who we be. Because often it’s the one piece that lets us down.

There’s a tension when we are carers for others, whether we’re health professionals, SES workers, emergency services, healers, or people like myself caring for a husband that is very, very sick. And that tension is about how do we take care of our own centre when we’re taking care of another if we feel that their needs are more important, more immediate, or more necessary than our own.

And equally, the person that we’re caring for can feel that they’re a burden, that their needs are too demanding, that they become a nuisance or they go to the other extreme – thank God my husband’s not like this – where his needs are the only needs that matter.

It’s a conflict that can’t be resolved while ever we hold two opposing thoughts; that we have to give of ourselves totally in taking care of others and that we’re entitled to take time out if we feel we need it.

And yet you can hold two opposing thoughts, and you can make them work.

Because when we stop to think about what recharges us, if at the same time we stop to consider that by being recharged we’re going to be more present in our job, in the service we offer, in the people that we love and care for, then that can help to bridge the tension.

There are times when I don’t have time to think, when there are so many jobs to do because of what’s happening. Appointments here, there and everywhere. Tony not always been as well as he could be. Where I stop and I don’t look after myself. Fortunately, I’ve got people around me who love me, care for me, see what’s happening and tap me on the shoulder if I don’t tap myself on the shoulder. It’s easy to fall into the trap that we need less, that time for ourselves isn’t as important as time for others.

We can only take care of others if we nourish and support our own energy, such that there’s always plenty to share with others. Because if we don’t stand in our centre, if we don’t hold our centre, the cup we’re pouring from has nothing to offer.